Adjusting to becoming a big brother - We where careful to prepare Oliver for being a big brother & have involved him throughout the pregnancy in choosing things for the baby, getting everything ready at home & we also gave him very special jobs, like collecting the baby from hospital. As the date drew closer we created a count down chart at home which we crossed off every day, prepared a special bag for when he stayed at Nanna's & bought him new special books that talked about new babies.
When Charlotte arrived Ben & I were delighted as Oliver had always said he wanted a sister & his wish came true. Oliver was great when he came into hospital, very excited to meet his little sister, very gentle & loving we couldn't have been happier; however he was not so excited to see mummy. Initially I thought he was distracted with the baby and so didn't react. The day we came home Oliver was very excited as collecting us from hospital was his special job, we let him help push the stroller & set off home. Oliver was great in the car, chatting to Charlotte and telling her to be brave in the car, we where delighted. When we arrived home Daisy & Florence popped in to see us & Oliver was immediately quite defensive telling Florence, it's not your sister and then very possessive about his toys. We expected him to be a little unsettled but he ended up having a huge tantrum and sobbing. Daddy managed to calm him down, although he was adamant that mummy left him alone, he only wanted Daddy. Over the next few days he wouldn't come near me, told me he didn't love me and wouldn't even hold my hand to walk down the stairs. It has been heartbreaking! Oliver has been my number one since the day he was born, we spend every day together & he usually cries if Daddy takes him up for a bath because he misses me, so I rush up & join them obviously! My hubby has been wonderful, calming Oliver, understanding his need to be physically attached (he cant even go to bathroom without him) and very reassuring to his hormonal tearful wife (I cant bare not to be close to my boy). I'm happy to say that every day we have had a small improvements and today I had a few cuddles, got to read Oliver a story & hold his hand when we went into town. I'm slowly trying to do more with Oliver and not smother him too much when he does come close, but it's upsetting to think he struggling with mummy having another baby. But let's hope we can get back to our 'hot dates' soon! We are delighted that he's taken his role as the helpful big brother very well & is only too happy to talk to Charlotte while she has a nappy changed, loves putting her dirty clothes in the laundry bin & giving her lots of kisses. He loves singing to her, pushing her in the stroller & the first question he asks in the morning is where's my baby sister gone? I'm hoping Oliver will be back to normal in the next few weeks & in the mean-time I will wait patiently for my little boys cuddles. I picked up some great tips from What to Expect when you're expecting 'getting ready for a new baby sibling ' If you have any tips or have had a similar situation with an older sibling feel free to share... - Michelle X